Understanding Human Judgment and Its Implications

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It’s human nature to judge—this is an undeniable fact.

We judge to gauge our own behaviors, assign value, and determine our social status. It’s an evolutionary advantage to identify those who are strong and healthy, helping us choose the best mates for procreation. Judgments are part of a normal human experience. While these deep instinctual drives exist, we’ve evolved beyond just surviving and mating. The real magic lies not in the judgments themselves, but in what you do with that information.

We often judge others and gravitate toward those who we perceive as least threatening to our way of life. We collect people who make us comfortable with our self-image and beliefs. When there’s an unhealed part of you, like a soul-draining habit you’re trying to break, you become a magnet for people displaying similar behaviors.

You can sense it.

They don’t have to confess for you to plug into their energy. Your unconscious mind seeks approval and confirmation.

I’ve been known to tell people that “I see them.” Those of you who have heard this from me know what I mean. I “see you” because I see it in myself. All those dirty secrets everyone hides in fear of judgment, I connect to as a present or past version of myself.

I can spot you hiding those secrets a mile away and have so much compassion for the fear of being found out. It’s hard when society judges you as less than for being honest about your shadows. We all have behaviors and desires deemed taboo by society. Not everyone feels they can be open about these, and I get that. We all have our place and purpose in this world, and mine is to expose social conditioning bullshit to let others know they aren’t less than for simply being human.

Lying and rejecting desires are integral aspects of our social survival.

When you encounter people demonstrating the same shadows, you plug into each other. You want to support your biases, choosing the path of least resistance.

If we judge others for eating junk food or boozing it up, instead of being a spin-class-smashing Suzie homemaker on weekends, it usually has nothing to do with the other person and more to do with our inability to forgive ourselves for something we’ve done, a past self we reject, or something we deeply desire.

I’ve trained my mind to transition from visceral judgment to curiosity and compassion quickly. This has been easier for me due to my mind-shattering experiences and exposure to deeply troubled humans. A soul that carries empathy is a soul that has endured enormous pain.

Now, for the opposite side of the coin—judgments that rub us wrong and cause defensiveness are deeply rooted in your denial of some truth within yourself. Remember, everything stems from our own mind and perceptions.

You might be thinking, “Everything is everyone else’s fault.” This is a natural thought pattern to preserve self, but it’s inaccurate and unhelpful.

For example, if someone calls me a dumb blonde, I don’t care about their opinion of my intelligence because I don’t recognize it as true. I know I’m smart—my IQ in the 99.9th percentile tells me that. However, if someone points out that I am wasting time or challenges my integrity, I get defensive because I strongly dislike those traits in others. This defensiveness is rooted in my own insecurities about always needing to be efficient and second-guessing my moral standards.

These defense points signal what we need to work on within ourselves. Ask yourself:

  • What am I not forgiving?
  • What am I holding onto?
  • Am I not living my truth?
  • What am I repressing?

The answers to your questions are always within yourself.

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